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SpeakerIs beauty only skin deep? There might not be a universal answer to this question, but research in psychology clearly shows that it's not just a beautiful face that makes us attractive.
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SpeakerOur personality, behavior, attitudes, they all create a constellation of traits that influence how others see us.
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SpeakerBut no matter if you're as pretty as a picture, some not so pretty habits could make people look away.
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SpeakerWhat are those habits that might make you seem unattractive? Keep watching to find out.
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Speaker"I'll go next time." Some days you just don't feel like being social, like at all.
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SpeakerYour co-workers or school friends invite you to hang out and you come up with an excuse and run home.
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SpeakerMaybe the introvert in you is having an extra hard day or you just want to watch Netflix by yourself - and that's totally fine, but what if it happens too often?
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SpeakerSocial psychology suggests that avoiding spending time with others is not a good strategy if you'd like to be attractive.
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SpeakerAccording to the mere exposure effect, we tend to prefer things we see often.
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SpeakerIn the classic 1992 experiment, students who attended class more often were more liked by their colleagues simply because they were seen more often.
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SpeakerThere's also the principle of proximity liking. It means that we tend to become fond of others when we have repeated contact with them.
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SpeakerA 2008 research study published in Psychological Science found that students who sit next to each other in class are more likely to become friends.
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SpeakerBottom line, don't reject that coffee next time you're invited.
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Speaker"Look at me". Being confident is certainly something to strive for, but being overly confident, maybe not so much.
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SpeakerPsychotherapist Richard Joelson said in an article for Psychology Today that we tend to think of people who boast as arrogant, self preoccupied, or even insecure.
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SpeakerSo, if you can't stop talking about your achievements or success, you may unintentionally come off as full of yourself.
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SpeakerA 2014 study published in the Journal of Positive Psychology had two groups of people read descriptions of hypothetical students.
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SpeakerSome descriptions were confident but humble, for example: I'm a pretty good student but not a bookworm. Other people say I'm smart, but I don't like the attention.
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SpeakerAnd others showed a bit of a boasting vibe: I'm a really good student and pretty smart but definitely not a nerd or bookworm. I guess it just comes naturally.
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SpeakerLater in the experiment, participants showed greater interest in starting a relationship with students whose descriptions appeared more humble.
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SpeakerSo, make sure you don't brag too much in front of others. It may sound just a bit off-putting.
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Speaker2 a.m. club
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SpeakerDoes your night time routine consist of scrolling through TikTok or watching YouTube videos until 2 a.m. then trying to silently make popcorn followed by a few episodes of your favorite show?
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SpeakerIf this sounds like you, you should maybe rethink this habit.
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SpeakerResearch published in the journal BMJ in 2010 investigated the attractiveness of sleep deprived individuals.
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SpeakerThe researchers took photos of two groups of people, those who'd slept for eight hours the night before and the sleep deprived one who hadn't slept in 31 hours.
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SpeakerParticipants of the study then had to rate those photos. As expected, they rated the sleep deprived people as looking less healthy and less attractive. It seems like skimping on sleep won't get you that date.
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SpeakerGlass half empty.
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SpeakerWe all get **** into a state of pessimism from time to time. Talking about how you feel can make you feel relieved in a way.
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SpeakerBut is this habit viewed as attractive? Well, not so much.
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SpeakerIn 2007, German researchers developed a study in which they had participants listen to some tape-recorded conversations.
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SpeakerThe tapes had optimistic, realistic, and pessimistic people talking about how they were dealing with stressful situations.
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SpeakerAfter listening, participants filled out a questionnaire in which they evaluated the personality and attractiveness of the people they listened to.
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SpeakerThe results showed that if they listened to optimistic and realistic people, they viewed them much more favorably than pessimistic ones.
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SpeakerSo, even if you're not the most optimistic and cheerful person, finding a balance between black and white by being at least realistic could make you seem more attractive than simply indulging in negativity.
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SpeakerNon-pickup lines.
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SpeakerIs it sexy to be sexist? This is how researchers named their 2020 study published in the journal Personal Relationships, and the answer is a clear no.
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SpeakerThe study showed that sexist humor when directed to the opposite gender comes off as unattractive and even aggressive.
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SpeakerEven if you don't mean it in a bad way, joking about gender stereotypes or gender roles can make the other person roll their eyes, cringe, and try to get as far away from you as possible.
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SpeakerThat doesn't mean you shouldn't ever joke, of course, just make sure your jokes are tasteful and not hurting any group of people.
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SpeakerDo you recognize some of these behaviors in yourself? If you do, don't worry. Every day is a new opportunity to learn and grow.
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SpeakerChanging some unattractive and unhealthy habits might draw others towards you, but most importantly, it would make you feel great in your own skin.
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SpeakerYou can check our older videos to learn about 10 surprising habits that make you more attractive.
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SpeakerAnd remember, no matter what, Psi thinks you're a real treat, and don't ever forget: you matter.