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SpeakerOne. Low self worth.
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SpeakerDo you often feel that you are not worthy of a relationship or you aren't lovable?
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SpeakerIt could even be that you've convinced yourself that people just don't see you in that way.
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SpeakerA common cause of self-sabotaging relationships is a very low sense of self worth.
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SpeakerTwo. Fear of losing friends.
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SpeakerDo you feel obliged to your friends?
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SpeakerDoes it feel like you need to repay them for being your friend?
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SpeakerThrough all the support you've given and received to and from each other, you might subconsciously feel like you owe it to your friends or family to be available when they need you.
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SpeakerYou might avoid relationships because you're afraid of abandoning your friends or not being a good enough friend to them.
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SpeakerThree. Fear of being unable to balance.
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SpeakerThink about work, study, friends, family and your own hobbies.
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SpeakerAre there a lot of things in your life, fighting for your time?
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SpeakerSelf sabotaging might also stem from your fear of being unable to be a good significant other to your partner because you can't divide your time properly.
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SpeakerThis happens because you might not have been in many relationships and you're used to fending for yourself in a certain way.
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SpeakerYou're afraid that a relationship might cause you to lack the time you put into other things.
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SpeakerIt could also be connected to losing freedom or a piece of yourself.
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SpeakerNumber four. Afraid to disappoint them.
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SpeakerThis is connected to the low self worth.
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SpeakerYou're afraid you don't have the skills required to be a good partner.
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SpeakerYou're afraid of making mistakes or saying or doing the wrong thing and as a result you avoid relationships altogether.
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SpeakerAnd number five. Fear of abandonment.
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SpeakerNothing in life is completely without risk - opening yourself up and having a romantic relationship opens up a variety of different risks you run.
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SpeakerEmotionally speaking.
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SpeakerThese risks or fears can range from fear of abandonment, to your partner not liking the way you look or anything in between.
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SpeakerWhatever it is, it's quite scary and might result in you consciously or subconsciously avoiding having a romantic relationship.
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SpeakerNow, let's talk about why you might self sabotage at work.
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SpeakerSix. Loss of Freedom. Do you adjust to change easily?
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SpeakerAre you excited for that promotion or worried about the increased responsibilities?
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SpeakerAssuming that self-sabotaging happens in cases where you're about to gain a higher position, that position might come with more complex tasks.
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SpeakerFamiliarity at work gives you a certain freedom,
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Speakeryou know what to expect and once you're familiar, you have more freedom to plan and do it in a way that makes it more comfortable for you.
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SpeakerHaving more complexity might subconsciously frighten you because you would lose a bit of that freedom, because you're not as familiar with the tasks.
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SpeakerNumber seven. You're afraid they've overestimated you.
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SpeakerI can definitely relate to this one.
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SpeakerAre you doubting your own capabilities?
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SpeakerDo you think you're not up for it?
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SpeakerIf you don't believe in your own abilities, the offer of a higher position would trigger a number of anxieties.
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SpeakerThese ultimately translate into self-sabotage.
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SpeakerYou might not believe you're ready for such a position and as a result you might think: I'm not made for this.
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SpeakerBut the truth is it was you who they chose after all.
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SpeakerSo that counts for something, right?
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SpeakerNumber eight. Fear of rejection by your new peers.
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SpeakerIt's always a bit scary to be the new person in a group, right?
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SpeakerEspecially if those people were first a step above you and are now supposed to be on your own level.
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SpeakerYou have to learn the ropes and you're afraid of feeling like an outsider, if you don't immediately pick up the new skills.
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SpeakerThis fear of not being as good as the others might draw you to do subtle things that result in self-sabotage.
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SpeakerWe hope we were able to give you insight into some of the reasons you might be unknowingly practicing self-sabotage.
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SpeakerCan you think of any others? How many do you recognize in your own behavior?
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SpeakerWould you like us to publish a video with more advice on how to overcome self-sabotaging?
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SpeakerLeave a comment down below about your reason for engaging in this behavior and please feel free to share any experiences and thoughts you've had as well.
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SpeakerIf you found this video helpful, be sure to hit the like button and share it with those out there, waiting in the shady waters of self sabotage.
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SpeakerDon't forget to subscribe to Psych2Go and hit the notification bell icon for more new videos.
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SpeakerAnd as always, thanks for watching. See you soon.