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SpeakerMany people think they have to follow some life script to be happy: have lots of friends, go to a prestigious school, get married and have kids.
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SpeakerThis mindset can be toxic and might make you feel incomplete or purposeless.
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SpeakerIntroverts especially suffer from this mindset since many would rather keep to themselves, self reflect, and feel pressure to be extroverted.
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SpeakerHere are key tips for living a happy, introverted life.
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SpeakerRedefine your happiness.
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SpeakerAlmost everyone seeks happiness but only some know what it looks like for them.
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SpeakerFor some people, happiness means having a family, a dog and a white picket fence.
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SpeakerFor others, happiness is obtained through mastering new skills like drawing or writing.
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SpeakerAn artist may define happiness as having their work in a world renowned gallery. An author may find happiness in having been published.
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SpeakerMany times, happiness is defined as something to be obtained and possessed but positive psychology coach and Verywell Mind blogger Derrick Carpenter argues
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Speakerthat one consistent theme in happiness research is that your choices and behaviors which are in your control and changeable, have significant effects on your well-being.
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SpeakerIn short, it means we can choose to be happy without having excess things or meeting specific goals.
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SpeakerAllow yourself to be satisfied whether or not you succeed in life and give yourself grace when you fall short of others expectations.
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SpeakerNot being extroverted doesn't mean you're incapable of achieving happiness, it just means you have a different definition of what happiness is.
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SpeakerLet go of surface pressure.
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SpeakerFor better or worse, other people often affect the choices we make. This mindset is typically the result of societal surface pressure.
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SpeakerWe care a lot about what others think, so our actions and decisions will usually reflect what others want from us.
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SpeakerLicensed psychologist Aris Yares notes that Disney's Encanto showcases many prime examples of societal pressure.
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SpeakerIn the case of the super strong Luisa, she is genuinely struggling with meeting the expectations of others
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Speakerand wonders what will happen "if I could shake the crushing weight."
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SpeakerHer expectations would definitely have some room for joy, her relaxation, her simple pleasure.
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SpeakerAccording to BetterHelp, social pressure can lead us to behave in ways that aren't good for ourselves or the people around us.
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SpeakerThe desire to fit in can lead people to do things like take drugs or drink too much to be accepted by a peer group that participates in those kinds of activities.
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SpeakerIntroverts especially deal with this kind of societal pressure. An introvert may be told they're too boring or not fun enough.
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SpeakerThis kind of pressure can lead many introverts to feel the need to be more extroverted and social to be happy and accepted.
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SpeakerInstead of giving in to the pressure, think about what you want in life and make the moves to make it happen.
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SpeakerYou'll be happier following your path than the path of others.
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SpeakerEnjoy the little things.
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SpeakerLike rule number 32 says, enjoy the little things.
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SpeakerYou probably heard this tidbit of advice so many times is easy to ignore or overlook.
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SpeakerStill, a 2012 study at Rutgers University linked greater appreciation to increased life satisfaction
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Speakereven more so than personality traits, gratitude and demographic factors such as gender, age and ethnicity.
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SpeakerThe results of this study study suggested that taking time to appreciate the pleasures in life no matter how small can be extraordinarily beneficial and promote satisfaction.
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SpeakerLittle things to enjoy include taking long walks to enjoy the natural scenery, gardening, baking, or getting lost in a good book.
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SpeakerIf you're an introvert and reading or painting makes you happy let yourself experience the feeling rather than keep it down.
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SpeakerYou don't have to only be happy when you're out with friends at a party and you certainly don't have to save up your happiness for only special occasions like birthdays and weddings.
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SpeakerYou have every right to be happy any time of the year or day.
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SpeakerAppreciating the little things can lead to lasting happiness, so stop to smell the flowers and you may be amazed at how happy you become in the long run.
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SpeakerEmbrace quality over quantity.
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SpeakerYes, healthy and meaningful relationships play an integral role in our happiness.
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SpeakerExtroverts are well known for making fast friends while introverts are known for having limited but significant social ties.
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SpeakerBut what also rings true is the necessity for social connections.
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SpeakerWe often need our friends and family to feel happy and fulfilled because they offer a sense of belonging.
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SpeakerPrivate psychologist Romeo Vitelli argues that people reporting more close friends showed greater social satisfaction and greater well being overall.
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SpeakerWe feel loved just by being around them, but we don't need to be surrounded by friends and family 24/7 to be happy.
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SpeakerIntroverts for instance, love their quiet time, but that doesn't mean they love their loved ones any less.
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SpeakerThey also often prefer quality over quantity. There's nothing wrong with that since it can lead to more in depth enriching relationships.
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SpeakerStanford University Professor of Psychology Laura Carstensen argues we may even deliberately downsize our social networks
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Speakerto only a few close friends or family members to simplify our lives and preserve future health and well being.
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SpeakerShow yourself.
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SpeakerIs anyone happy pretending to be someone they're not?
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SpeakerRodney Lane, a contributor to the Journal of Happiness Studies, says introverts are constantly pressured to be extroverted in the Western world.
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SpeakerAs noted, extroverts are highly regarded as leaders and team players while introverts are often mislabeled as aloof or antisocial hermit types.
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SpeakerThis societal mislabeling can make many introverts look down on themselves as less than others and make them feel desperate to display extroverted traits that often go against their true nature.
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SpeakerIn response, cognitive scientist and humanistic psychologist, Scott Barry Kaufman concluded that the biggest key to being a happy introvert is simply self-acceptance,
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Speakernot forcing oneself to repeatedly act out of character or to think of oneself as merely a deviation from an ideal personality.
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SpeakerInstead of pretending to be someone you're not accept and embrace who you are.
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SpeakerYou'll likely be much happier that way and see the true beauty behind the mask that is you.
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SpeakerDon't be afraid, show off the real you.
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SpeakerUltimately, there is no clear cut path to happiness and that is because everyone's definition of happiness can differ.
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SpeakerIf hanging with friends or reading a good book makes you happy, then by all means, go for it.
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SpeakerBut if you're trying to follow some life script and it's making you miserable, it's time to rip up the script and follow your path towards achieving happiness.
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SpeakerIf you found this video helpful, please like and share it with your fellow introverts.
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SpeakerUntil next time. Remember to hit that subscribe button to be kept up to date on our latest videos,7 and take care.